The Conjuring…


I seem to only watch scary movies….ALONE. Not sure if I just enjoy the torture of being petrified or if it is just because I don’t think my family will appreciate the scary flick as much as I do. It is what it is and that’s what I do..I’m alone..I’m watching a scary movie.

Tonight, Jason’s out with the guys shooting things in the desert, Kiah is at work and I’m watching “The Conjuring”.

It’s very rare, these days, I get my heart racing with fear over a movie…this one did the trick. 🙂

It started out with a scary doll ~ I hate scary dolls…they freak me out. Why? No clue…they! Creepy doll was old..had crackled blues eyes, red lipstick and cracked cheeks  painted in red rouge. I am still, even after the movie is over, a little confused as to what this doll had to do with anything. The opening scene is two female roommates on the couch talking to someone (you can only assume is a shrink or a ghost hunter) about this creepy doll who they allowed  some demon soul to possess. Then the movie cuts too a family with a boat load of kids moving into a new house.

First clue something may be wrong with the house…the dog..will..not…go.. inside. your dog. If your dog barks incessitanly at something or someone, IT is NOT to be trusted.

** Spoiler alert* So this family dog refuses to enter the house and of course, its a scary movie, the dog is found dead the next morning.

Why, do the scary movie writers insist on always killing the dog? Really? Kill the jackass  teenager who expects way too much out of life! Poor little dupper dog didn’t do anything wrong..shoot..He didn’t even go inside. And it’s not like he can speak to the humans and tell them, “Hey, have freaky deaky ghosts living in your house. You may want to get out”.

Dog is buried and the family doesnt even question, “why did the dog die”? They move on. Unpacking, playing games, going to work, going to school. Until one night..

Two of the girl children – who share a room – are sleeping. The younger one keeps waking up in the night because “her older sister” keeps pulling her foot. After the second night of this shenanigans the young one finally realizes..”holy crap, my sister is in her’s not her who is pulling my leg”. What does she do? She looks UNDER HER BED..

Who out there would LOOK UNDER their bed, in the middle of the night after being scared of WHAT was grabbing your foot while you were sleeping?

Sorry..but I would have pulled the covers over my head and held my breath until the daylight shone.

I won’t go into too much detail but the above described..good scene. It gets better from there..The mom starts realizing something is up with the house after a night of chasing around a strange clapping noise and being locked in the basement until the husband comes home..Which brings me to another..Really?? Would you ever??

So she hears the basement door creak and sees it open and yet she still..goes down the stairs, in the dark to the creepy basement of the house they just moved into.

Would you go? I..would..not.. I would run upstairs , jump in my bed, pull the covers over my head and hold my breath until the daylight shone.

At this point, the movie is heating up and they bring in a married couple who perform cleansing rituals to rid homes and people of other worldly issues.

Now, I do have to say, I become a little conflicted with some of the story line.

I believe in ghosts. I do not believe in the devil. Which also means that I don’t think I can believe in demonic possession. The conflictual aspect, on my part,  comes into play is at this point because the writers introduce the demonic possession theory.

With that said..the movie did still end up being ~ hold your breath until the next scene scary. if you like scary it. 🙂


Uncomfortably Numb

This is going to be a tough one for me to get through and I will apologize in advance for my ramblings but I NEED to get this out.

What I need to get out, I have no idea but I have had a  tough day and that is what you’re here for, right? To read the thoughts and feelings and ramblings and stories from another persons experiences?

~ Sighs deeply ~

I feel utterly confused. I feel gut wrenching emptiness. I feel….A LOT.

It started out as a normal happy day. I surprisingly woke up at 05:15….BEFORE my alarm clock buzzed me out of bed! It helped that Jason woke up a tad bit earlier and kind of woke me up with the piddling around the room in the dark. I didn’t go for the two mile run goal for this week (again) is just to start training myself to get out of bed an hour or so earlier than normal.

We had coffee, watched the weather channel (yea..we do that..mmmhmm) and talked about what our plans for the day were to entail.

He took off for a couple of jobs and I felt so happy to be able to work from home today and I got to it!

Around one in the afternoon, I decided to check in on a friend/co-worker. You see, she was diagnosed with leukemia in 2011. She went through rounds of chemotherapy, after chemo, her sister was (luckily) a match for her bone marrow transplant! She got through all the shenanigans of that ordeal and came back to work in August of 2012…life was going pretty good for her. Sure she was tired alot and wasn’t back to her old self quite yet, but really?? Who would be after going through everything she did to battle leukemia?

I think it was around August this year she started complaining of headaches and finally went in for her check up. She had relapsed. I didnt see her again. She went into hospital for more chemo treatments and the plan was to give stem cell transplant a shot. They started the process on September the 24th. September the 23rd was her last day off freedom….until today.

LITERALLY, thirty seconds after I checked the website her mom set up and kept us updated on, I received a text from my boss letting me know that Kirsten has passed away.

I breathed in an extremely deep breath, my head dropped back into the recliner I had been sitting on all day working and there was silence.

I don’t know how long I was silent with my head back and eyes closed  but Jason was here (THANKFULLY) and I could feel him looking at me, waiting for me to say something..anything..he knew from my reaction to the text I had just read that something was terribly wrong and I was beyond upset. I thank him right now for knowing what to do – whether he knew what he was doing or not – his silence was EXACTLY what I needed. And then my head shot up, I was unable to breath and the tears just poured out of my soul.

It breaks my heart that a woman in her early thirties can be diagnosed with a horrible disease such as leukemia, never experience life (she was not married, did not have children, had not yet had the opportunity to travel as much as she would have liked) go through the painful process of trying to recover using chemotherapy, bone marrow transplants, stem cell transplants, etc… only for the outcome to be a loss of life.

I do not understand how this can happen. We live in an age where we, as a country, “pride” ourselves in such wonderful and miraculous medical advances…why are so many many people dying?



Who do I talk to about adding more time to our daily clocks?? Is it just me or would everyone else benefit from having more than twenty-four hours in a day?

I don’t know about you.. but I honestly can’t seem to squeeze in work, exercise, cleaning, family time, husband time, ME time, fun time, friend time OH annnnd SLEEP time in just twenty-four hours!

This dilemma has prompted me to take a look at a few things I can change. The first one being to wake up earlier. In my mind I know what I need to do to get up earlier..DUH..just get up earlier, right?

So much easier said than done!

I DO NOT WAKE UP. When I’m up..I’m up but it’s the whole getting me out of bed thing where the problem begins.

Example..last Thursday Kiah and I set our alarms for 05:00 so we could go for a little two mile run before our day began. After thirty minutes of riding the snooze button train, I saw Kiahs light on in her bedroom..She’s the good one..she was getting ready to run. Me? I yell from the warm coziness of my bed, ” KIAH…GO BACK TO BED”. She gladly obeyed. 🙂

My new short term goal is now to get me out of bed early enough to get a two mile run in, come home, shower and get to work..maybe even on time?

My first step towards succeeding in my goal…I googled, “How to wake up earlier” Do you know there is actually a wiki how to?

I have actually tried ALL of these methods in the past and they just..don’t…work. Maybe now that I have an actual goal of getting my exercise in first thing before work..maybe now it will work.

I started with the most basic. Set the alarm thirty minutes earlier than I need to wake up. Hey! I actually woke up on time! No..not at the 05:30 hour I had set the alarm for but the 06:00 hour which is the real hour I am supposed to wake up.

Tomorrow..yes, tomorrow is the day my plan will work!