The Plan

A couple of months ago the plan was to bring in the new year with our closest friends and family in the desert..camping. It all sounded great until a few days ago when the plan started to sound…let’s say…mentally challenged.

Winter decided to make an appearance in Arizona!   We haven’t seen any snow in the suburbs outside of Phoenix but it rained all day yesterday and it was less than 30 Fahrenheit for the low. We would have died in our sleep. No doubt about it.

Jason and I thought it would be a better idea to have the celebration at our place. Have a nice cozy fire in the backyard (yep, on a NO BURN DAY, we would’ve totally done it) with our friends and our dogs and our drinks. That plan was perfect and the best thing about it? We wouldn’t have to drive anywhere…

For the most part, everyone was all in but…there’s always a but…they all have children under twelve. Of course the children would have been welcome BUT.. we have nothing entertaining at all for children to do in our house. They would have been bored to crazy.

Plan C…get our daughter to drive us to our friends house and then we could take a taxi home! Brilliant! 🙂 But…she left and went up north with her friends AND..that would mean we would be leaving our fur babies at home..alone…scared..to deal with the loud firecracker noises.

In the end, we decided to stay home with our fur babies and power through episode after episode of Orange is the New Black season two. In between we ate a delicious Jager Schnitzel with hunter sauce, beets and mashed potatoes courtesy of chef Jason. There was also whiskey and wine..of course.

Happy New Year people! In my heart of hearts I wish nothing but peace, love and prosperity to er’yone! 🙂

To Beat or Not to Beat…that is the question…

Cowboys – Josh Brent – KILLED someone – drinking an driving and only got suspended 10 games
Wes Welker – suspended 2 games for using Adderall – Ray Rice was suspended indefinitely for knocking the his then fiancé the bleep out..and most recently..
Adrian Peterson beat his kid with a switch and will most likely only be suspended for 6 games (but I think that has yet to be determined as the charges are so new)
By the way he was quoted as saying: “never intended to harm his son and deeply regrets the unintentional injury.”

Isn’t that what a huge percentage of abusers say? Oh, I’m sorry, please forgive me I didn’t mean to hurt you…at least that’s what I’ve come to conclusion based on my experience in Lifetime movie watching.

I have a friend that actually posted a complaint on FB:
“My view of the nation of nosy liberal pussy children raising parents!!! Mom arrested for letting kid walk to park. So me mom was a criminal!!! Adrian Peterson indited for spanking with a switch so also me grandmother was a criminal wake up people u turned out fine and mind ur own fucking business!! ur creating a nation of pussies!!!”

This person was upset because a woman was arrested for allowing her seven year old (alone mind you) to walk to a park about a mile away from the house. Now I don’t think she should have been arrested BUT it did need to be brought to her attention (shockingly..I mean really??? who doesn’t know that you do NOT let your little walk the street by.themselves….There are way to many freakoids out there that WILL take and do bad things and kill your child…don’t you people listen to HLN??) anyway..I could rant on this topic all day long but moving on to my friends other complaint..

Adrian Peterson..indicted (friend totally spelled indicted wrong) for child abuse. He slashed his sons leg with a switch (because that’s how he as raised..you know..) Adrian Peterson..come on man…your 2 year old DIED at the hands of your baby mama boyfriend (due to chile abuse) and your going to scar your other son by damaging him yourself?? Disgusting.. I am not saying I am pro or anti corporal punishment of our children but even the line has a line and this…obviously is crossing it. And by the way…just because you are a spewing out God this and God that does not make your actions OK. Does not mean that you are a good hearted person. Actions buddy….actions…

OK so I think I have pin pointed both of the FB topics on friends post..A couple more..its says “wake up people u turned out fine” Really? Did we? I did..I was not beaten nor was I out roaming on my own..I had a group of friends and we roamed the neighborhood..travelled in packs or at least pairs! I also lived in military housing where the neighbors all looked out for us kids..If “Johnny” was out roaming the neighborhood believe me all the lookey loos (mom included) knew what he was up to or at least they were going to find out…. “U turned out fine” Notice friend did not say “I” turned out fine…exactly..your grandma beat you with a switch! of course you did not turn out fine…you drink a little, I am sure if you looked inward there are more issues that stem (pun not intended..happy accident) from being beat with a switch. I say this with peace and love of course..just pointing it out.. If I was in the south I would have to say “Bless friends heart”.

“and mind ur own fucking business” This one is the best…These children..that are being abused. They are our business. As a community it is our duty (remember the old saying “it takes a village’) to make sure these kids are safe. The kids are going to go to school with your kids. They are going to share their darkness – with the other kids on the playground. Those kids are going to bring it home and share their new found darkness with an animal in your house or with the other kids in the house or with the neighbor kids. It is a sickness that keeps on giving..

Thank you for letting me rant and my apologies if you do not share my views but that is totally OK.. I don’t judge your thoughts so don’t judge mine…

Now I say…Wake up people..

In my humble opinion….

I am hoping this blog allows me to move on and free myself of the frustrations of seeing daily posts on the internet in regards to the opinions of others when it comes to the recent tragedy that was the massacre shooting at the Sandy Hook Elementary School.

Typically, I am fascinated and non-judgmental when it comes to the thoughts and feelings of others about political and religious beliefs. I am a strong believer that everyone has feelings and whether I agree with said feelings or not…all of our feelings are valid in their own right.

Today is no different…I do not judge and I will not judge but..I am tired. I am tired of seeing all of the posts on the internet. I am tired of listening to the media claim they know the answers to fixing the problems of this nation. So tonight..I say my peace and I will move on. I will not listen to the news and I will scroll past all those on my friends list who post anything about the tragic event.

I am a Liberal. A Liberal who happens to be pro gun ownership. I know, right? I have not always been so. Only in the past five years have I changed my feelings about guns. I used to be terrified. The reason for my terror? I was uneducated…period. My friends and family and I live in the suburbs of Arizona. We frequently go out to the desert and shoot guns using targets for practice. There are usually about fifteen of us out there along with an arsenal of guns – we all interchange, trying out each others firearms and practice. Its a fun event, I have learned a lot and to be honest..it’s a powerful feeling KNOWING that if it came down to me and an intruder…I will win.

To me, owning a gun gives me the power to protect myself from those who want to invade my space, possibly harm me physically and steal from me.

Unfortunately, these are the times we live in.

With that said…I DO believe it IS way to easy for anyone to purchase a gun. I bought my first gun three years ago. I walked into the local gun shop in Glendale, AZ, told the salesman which gun I wanted, he asked me if I knew anything about the gun I wanted to purchase, I said, “No, but I have a few friends that know enough to teach me”. He said ‘OK” took my paperwork, dialed a phone number and ran a quicky background check. Found nothing and I was literally out the door with my new matte black .45 caliber Glock 23.

The entire process took less than fifteen minutes. To me, that’s unacceptable. What if..just what if…I had JUST found my husband in bed with another woman or I was just fired from a job and would not be able to provide my family with a great Christmas or I could no longer pay my bills. Crimes of passion can stem from these examples and more. We hear it everyday..
In fifteen minutes, my anger would not have been diminished, I could have very well been angered by something, purchased a firearm and taken matters into my own hands in a heated rage. I had no prior record so that quicky background check they just ran is really useless..I could have just snapped..this would have been my first crime of course I would have had  no blemishes on my record.
In a sense, I do agree with some form of gun control..it should not be that easy to walk out of the store with a gun and no education. Some sort of waiting period should be required along with a background check.

Is this going to solve the problem of shooting massacres, no…. no it will not. It is only one step…One issue.

The other problem I see is family. We all know in these times, most people cannot live in this economy on a one income family. That leaves our children either at home alone while we work to raise themselves or it leaves our children in the hands of day care or babysitters. We don’t have sit down dinners with our kids, we dont ask them how their days were and if we do…do we truly listen to not only what they are telling us but how they tell us how their days at school were?
I have a now nineteen year old daughter. It was like pulling teeth trying to get her to tell me how her day actually was. I would ask, “How was your day?” I would get…”Fine” It would take literally twenty minutes of prying to actually find out what the kid did that day. Frustrating, so frustrating but I wanted to know and to me “fine” was not acceptable.

I am not saying I am perfect, there have been many times, I have asked..just to ask and have not really listened to the answer. Not because I didn’t care but even as an adult..I am unfocused. Everyone of us is guilty of this. Our children are not perfect and they are not “fine”.

We, as a society, need to recognize this. We need to recognize and admit to ourselves that our child could possibly need us to listen and pay more attention to behavior signs which may lead them down the wrong path. A path which may lead them to become pregnant as a teen, may lead them to drug and alcohol usage, may lead them to gang violence or worse yet…may lead them to retrieve our guns, shoot us and then shoot down twenty completely innocent children.

Not every instance is the “fault” of the parent. Some kids are just born with mental and social health issues. These traits are seen by the parent..sometimes the parent sees or feels something is “‘off” within the child and they start treatment early..sometimes the parent ignores the warning signs..after all, it’s “my” child..I am fine..my child should be fine..my child is a “good” kid. Your kid is not perfect..if you feel something is “off” it’s worth his/her life and the lives of yourself and others to get it checked out..to seek professional help.

I hear and read people say “it’s video games and movies and music” to blame for our kids desensitization regarding human life. I don’t believe that to be true either. It comes down to paying attention to our children, educating them, creating good family values, teaching them right from wrong and holding them accountable for the actions they make.